Book Review: Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones SPOILERS!

In April 2002, the novelization of the second edition to the Prequel Trilogy was penned by acclaimed fantasy author R. A. Salvatore, his second entry into the Star Wars universe. Synopsis: There is a great disturbance in the Force…. From the sleek ships of the glimmering Coruscant skyscape to the lush gardens of pastoral Naboo, dissent is roiling. The Republic is failing, even under the leadership of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, elected ten years earlier to save the crumbling government. Separatists threaten war, and the Senate is hopelessly divided, unable to determine whether to raise an army for battle or keep the fragile peace. It is a stalemate that, once broken, could lead to galactic chaos. Mischievous and resolved, courageous to the point of recklessness, Anakin Skywalker has come of age in a time of great upheaval. The nineteen-year-old apprentice to Obi-Wan Kenobi is an enigma to the Jedi Council, and a challenge to his Jedi Master. Time has not dulled Anakin’s ambition, nor has his Jedi training tamed his independent streak. When an attempt on Senator Padmé Amidala's life brings them together for the first time in ten years, it is clear that time also has not dulled Anakin's intense feelings for the beautiful diplomat. The attack on Senator Amidala just before a crucial vote thrusts the Republic even closer to the edge of disaster. Masters Yoda and Mace Windu sense enormous unease. The dark side is growing, clouding the Jedi's perception of the events. Unbeknownst to the Jedi, a slow rumble is building into the roar of thousands of soldiers readying for battle. But even as the Republic falters around them, Anakin and Padmé find a connection so intense that all else begins to fall away. Anakin will lose himself—and his way—in emotions a Jedi, sworn to hold allegiance only to the Order, is forbidden to have.


Like my review of The Phantom Menace, I'm going to point out some interesting facts in the story and shed some light into what the Expanded Universe ran with and built up. So, without further ado, here we go.

The novel opens with Anakin dreaming about his mother's death; he and Obi-Wan are on their way to Ansion to settle a dispute--this is shown in better detail in Alan Dean Foster's Star Wars: The Approaching Storm. On Tatooine, Shmi Skywalker-Lars, after talking with her husband[1] Cliegg Lars and his son and his son's girlfriend--Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun--about gathering the farmers to deal with the Tusken Raiders, is kidnapped by the natives of Tatooine. Cliegg and Owen gather the farmers and go after her, but the Tuskens kill a few of them and wound Cliegg. Meanwhile, on Naboo, Senator Padme Amidala leaves for Coruscant, despite Captain Gregar Typho's warnings about her being assassinated; she insists being there to oppose the Military Creation Act is too important. The events of the movie proceed from there, with Palpatine declaring to Yoda, Mace Windu, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Plo Koon that he won't let the Galactic Republic collapse after a thousand years--which is when the New Sith Wars ended after the Seven Battles of Ruusan and the Ruusan Reformations, which break down the Republic having a massive fleet.

Jango Fett--Mand'alor of the Mandalorians--killing Zam Wessel so she won't tell the Jedi about him being hired to kill Padme by Dooku and the Trade Federation. Mace worries about the Sith not having shown themselves in the last ten years, despite the Sith appearing after a few decades in the days of the Old Republic (The Great Hyperspace War, The Great Sith War, The Jedi Civil War, The Dark Wars a.k.a. KOTOR2TSL, the Great Galactic War, the Cold War, the Second Great Galactic War, the New Sith Wars). Anakin is assigned to protect Padme on Naboo; they'll travel as refugees. Obi-Wan is tasked with finding where the poison dart came from. He asks Dexter Jettster, a Besalisk diner owner and chef, where the dart came from, Kamino. He searches the Jedi archives and Master Jocasta Nu tells him that the planet doesn't exist. The bust statues of certain Jedi Masters are the Lost Twenty, those who left the Jedi Order who no longer felt it's call; Dooku was the last, having been subverted by Hego Damask and Palpatine, the events of which are detailed in certain chapters of Star Wars: Darth Plagueis as well as losing Qui-Gon to Maul during the Naboo Incident.

While the worst romance in the history of movie and book romance, aside from the shitty Twilight crap and the terrible romance later in the Fate of the Jedi saga where a Jedi beats, nearly kills, and rapes his Sith love interest, goes on, Obi-Wan travels to Kamino. Prime Minister Lama Su talks with Obi-Wan about Master Syfo-Dyas creating the clone army--detailed in Star Wars: Darth Plagueis--and how every now and then, the clones develop an issue--a topic that Karen Traviss ran with in her beloved Republic Commando and Imperial Commando books. Obi-Wan talks with Jango, who mentions that a man called Tyrannus hired him on one of the moons of Bogden to serve as the template, which is detailed in the graphic novel Jango Fett: Open Seasons by Haden Blackman. After a fight with Jango, Obi-Wan tracks him to Geonosis and discovers a secret army being built by the Geonosian weaponsmakers; The Trade Federation, Corporate Alliance, Techno Union, InterGalactic Banking Clan, Commerce Guild, and senators Po Nudo and Tikkes join Dooku in creating the Confederacy of Independent Systems; Obi-Wan reports this back to the Jedi Council, via Anakin on Tatooine. Dooku tells Obi-Wan about the Galactic Senate bieng under the control of Darth Sidious--as seen in Star Wars: Darth Plagueis.

Despite being ordered to stay on Tatooine and protect the Naboo Senator, Anakin and Padme rush off and get captured. On Coruscant, Jar Jar Binks becomes the galaxy's biggest unpunished war criminal in the entire galactic history by granting Palpatine the emergency powers to use the clone army. Mace gathers 200 Jedi and leave for Geonosis while Yoda leaves to gather the army. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Padme are about to be executed by a reek, acklay, and a nexu when Mace Windu and the 200 Jedi show up, some of which are Aalya Secura (from the Repbulic comic series starring Quinlan Vos), Kit Fisto, Luminara Unduli and her apprentice Barriss Offee, Roan Shryne, Nat-Sem, K'Kruhk and Sian Jeisel (both from the Republic comics), and several others. During the fight, Jango Fett is killed, prompting Boba to hate the Jedi forever and his sole reason for becoming the best bounty hunter ever. The First Battle of Geonosis kicks off as does the Clone Wars.

Most of the CIS members escape; Sun Fac is eliminated during the events of the hit Republic Commando game where Delta Squad is tasked with assassinating Sun Fac--this explains why Sun Fac wasn't seen in Revenge of the Sith; Delta Squad also sees Greivous's starfighter escape. Anakin loses an arm to Dooku in a lightsaber duel and Obi-Wan is wounded. Yoda saves them at the cost of Dooku escaping. Dooku ends up on Coruscant, in the Works. That building that Dooku lands is in the alternate ending to the popular Star Wars game Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight when Kyle Katarn kills Jerec and assumes the title of Emperor and tells Sarriss to put down the rebel uprising on Danuta where Katarn stole the Death Star plans from during Operation: Skyhook. Bail Organa watches in dismay as the ships built by Rothana Heavy Engineering, containing 1.2 million clone troopers, depart for the upcoming battles. Anakin and Padme marry in secret on Naboo, an act that is forbidden with Yoda's Order, but not with the Corellian Jedi or Djinn Altis' rogue movement; oh, and despite Master Ki-Adi-Mundi having a couple of wives due to the low birth rate on Cerea--it's funny how Yoda will bend the rules for more favored Masters than for gifted Jedi like Anakin and Vos.

All in all, Attack of the Clones works better as a novel than as a movie. It's not the most revered novel, but it is generally well above such trash that have come out in the wake of Revenge of the Sith, namely, the series set after the New Jedi Order and before the Legacy series.

[1] this is referenced and partly detailed in Tatooine Ghost by Troy Denning.

Retro Book Review: Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace SPOILERS!

Sometime in 1999, the mass execution of the Star Wars Expanded Universe began in one movie by George Lucas. It's novelization was penned by Terry Brooks. Now, it's been a few years since I read it, but I now have my hands on a copy that recently came out. It just has an updated cover for the 3D rerelease of the film that gave kids and parents nightmares. Yes, it's that film that brought you the evil Jar Jar Binks, who, so far, has only been used in The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and a couple of Clone Wars episodes. Yeah, he's not a much loved character and neither are the Gungans.  

Synopsis: A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, an evil legacy long believed dead is stirring. Now the dark side of the Force threatens to overwhelm the light, and only an ancient Jedi Prophecy stands between hope and doom for the entire galaxy. On the green, unspoiled world of Naboo, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, arrive to protect the realm's young queen as she seeks a diplomatic solution to end the siege of her planet by Trade Federation warships. At the same time, on desert-swept Tatooine, a slave boy named Anakin Skywalker, who possesses a strange ability for understanding the "rightness" of things, toils by day and dreams by night--of becoming a Jedi Knight and finding a way to win freedom for himself and his beloved mother. It will be the unexpected meeting of Jedi, Queen, and a gifted boy that will mark the start of a drama that will become legend.

And that synopsis, on the back of the novel, has me laughing out loud. Especially the part about this being a legend. Give me a break. Most Star Wars fans hate this movie and wish it never happened. Why, you ask? Because of Jar Jar Binks, a horrible child Anakin, and the cheesiness of the film's plot. It was so godawful that I'm still amazed it exists. But enough about that. Onto the novel's review where I'll let you in on some retcons we--meaning the EU fans--came up with after this novel and book were published.

The novel opens with a podrace during which Anakin crashes Watto's beloved podracer. Anakin is no longer allowed to race. He skips off work with Kitster and Wald and talk to an old spacer drinking ruby bliels (which is alcohol). Yeah, smart idea there, give the kids alcohol. It then switches to what we all know, the opening of the movie, with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan boarding the Trade Federation ship to discuss the blockade of Naboo (the events of which are detailed in the computer game Star Wars: Galactic Battlefields; just click on Boss Rugor Nass' face to start the campaign) with Nute Gunray and Rune Haako. Naturally, things take a turn for the worse and both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan end up on Naboo with that despicable character, Jar Jar Binks. The novel and Brooks write out the  Gungan language, which is horribly racist against Jamaicans. They leave Naboo with Queen Padme Amidala and her retinue of handmaidens and a couple of security types. They're stranded on Tatooine where they meet Anakin. Qui-Gon arranges to have Anakin free, but Watto refuses.

On Coruscant, Darths Sidious and Maul talk about the revenge of the Sith. A good portion of the scene in the novel details the origins of the Sith, and how wrong it is. According to Brooks and Lucas, the Sith came into existence only 2,000 years ago and waged war on the Jedi. First off, the EU set the Sith's origins back around 25,000 years ago, near the start of the Jed'aii origins. Secondly, the 2,000 years mentioned was retconned into the start of the New Sith Wars led by former Jedi Master Phanius, now called Darth Ruin. He led the war that decimated the galaxy, leaving the Republic, Mandalorians, and citizens on the brink of collapse. Into this came the Brotherhood of Darkness led by Kaan. Kaan's rival, Darth Bane--infamous creator of the Sith Rule of Two--finished off the Brotherhood via the war with the Jedi Army of Light led by Hoth on the planet Ruusan, where Kaan's thought bomb trapped hundred of Sith and Jedi spirits into it; it is now known as the Valley of the Jedi and starred in the graphic novel Star Wars: Jedi vs Sith by Darko Macan and the popular computer game Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and William C. Deitz novellas: Soldier for the Empire, Rebel Agent, and Jedi Knight, starring beloved Star Wars character Kyle Katarn.

Anyway, now back to the novel. On Tatooine, Anakin wins a podrace, and is set free. Qui-Gon briefly duels Darth Maul before fleeing in abject terror at a character that doesn't talk.They arrive on Coruscant (first created by Timothy Zahn in Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy I: Heir to the Empire as the capital of the former Galactic Empire and Old Republic) where Anakin is denied training from the Jedi Council and the Galactic Senate refuses to take action over the Trade Federation's blockade of Naboo. Instead, they depose Chancellor Finis Valorum and elect Palpatine as Chancellor--something that Darth Plagueis and Sidious (Palpatine) orchestrated; Sidious then kills Plagueis in his sleep (as detailed in Star Wars: Darth Plagueis by James Luceno). Meanwhile, the main cast has returned to Naboo to ask the false-Jamaicans to bring their army to free Naboo and Gungan alike. Anakin knocks out the Droid Control Ship during the space battle, the Gungans knock the droids over and win, Padme and company seize Nute Gunray and Rune Haako. Maul kills Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan slices Maul in half. Qui-Gon, dying, has Obi-Wan promise to train Anakin, which Yoda reluctantly agrees to. Plus, there's that line about "Which was destroyed? The Master or the Apprentice?" Now that Darth Palgueis is out, the truth is revealed that both were destroyed.

Now, while both are hated, they do bring some good things and bad things to the universe. A couple of good things is how the Old Republic ran its bureaucracy, podracing, and images of Coruscant. Bad things: Jedi not allowed to marry, ever. Yeah, this was retconned by Lucas after Bantam-era novels had Luke Skywalker marry Mara Jade, as well as Luke's Jedi Order having characters marry. Oh, and Tales of the Jedi Jedi-characters marry. But the fans retconned these married Jedi back in by saying they were a part of Jedi Master Djinn Altis' sect of Jedi that allowed Jedi to marry, therefore allowing Luke to have knowledge of these two sects and combine the best aspects from both. Not a bad story (still better than Twilight saga or Napoleon Dynamite, but then, everything is), but still lacking the full experience that the Original Trilogy gave us.