Update on both novels

With the term winding down, I can finally get back to writing. And with that said, I have an announcement to make. I am halfway through adding a new chapter/scene to my first book and it's one of many. Likewise, I'm almost at the half-way mark for book two.

Book one is currently at 35,570 words, while book two is currently at 23,610 words. That puts Shadows of Calassa at 143+ pages and The Human Trap at 98+ pages.

I did participate in NaNoWriMo but that went downhill quickly with term projects piling up at my side as I attempted this writing behemoth. Now, maybe next year, I'll just reserve my writing time for when I'm at home such as the weekends or school nights when I have no homework.

A suggestion to new and old writers: join a critique group if you're just coming out of NaNoWriMo. The story you slaved away on may have potential and sharing it with a group of trusted colleagues is the positive thing to do. Granted, I cheated and worked on both books at once, but there's no rule that says it has to be a completely new book you must start during November, just that you try and attain the goals of writing 150,000 words during the month.

Remember: as much as you care about your story and love what you've written, don't be afraid to let words go, or scenes, or characters. Sometimes that can strengthen a story more than it will harm. If it doesn't work without that scene, then try getting advice as to what specifically isn't working there and determine if it can be salvaged or integrated into the novel proper.

Writing Challenges

Setting aside the entirety of NaNoWriMo and writer's block, there are a few ways to get the creative juices flowing. For instance, if you're just not feeling the urge to sit down and write, try reading a book that's not in the genre you're writing in.

Here are just a few things to do to get the juices flowing:

• Try taking the first or last sentence of a novel you've read and write a scene using your characters. What would they do? How would they act?*
• Take a game you've just completed (be it board, card, x-box, or console) and try to write those characters and their situations.*
• Try writing an essay that summarizes the events of your world. It can prove fun and get the creative side warmed up.

This is my challenge to you all. If you feel the creative need to write but can't put thought to paper or screen, then relax and still write. you never know when an idea will spark.

* Note: I'm not saying this has to be published or even revealed or shared. A friend of mine challenged me to do so and I've done it but kept them to myself. Don't want the lawyers coming after me.

Flashbacks/Backstory

Flashback or backstory is commonly used to describe the events of a point before the start of the book. In a way, a writer can establish some history of the main character or secondary characters through the use of backstory. It also provides some uses for the author to tell about a time that might be hard to articulate.

There is a limit to backstory. The three sentence/paragraph rule. In this, you want to weave your backstory through the main event happening in the scene.

For example: Jack poured the coffee, the smell taking him back to the early mornings when his mother used to make it. He sat down to drink.

But is this always the best way to do a flashback? New York Times best selling author Karen Traviss gives whole chapters to backstory in her Gears of War book series. Those chapters serve to show the readers that some events in the present mirror those in the past. This is also a helpful way to practice the  "Show, Don't Tell" rule of writing.

But doing the backstory this way might cause some writers to tell/show that story more than the main event, which then makes them wonder if the backstory is more interesting than the main story. All too often, the past is more interesting than the present, but there are ways to work around that.

• If you have a secondary character with ore interesting backstory than your main character, try giving subtle hints about his or her past. Such as the case with Marvel's X-Men character, Wolverine. Sure, we know of some of the events that made him what he is today, but the rest he either doesn't talk about or gives an offhand comment to.
• Try writing the backstory alongside your main story. In a separate document is always wise. This allows you to have the backstory at your fingertips and choose what elements get referenced or summarized in paragraph/sentence form.
• Change your story's character and setting. All too often, the secondary characters steal the show for new writers. The challenge is to tell them "No." If you feel the story would be more interesting through their eyes, show it.

Update on the novel

Today marks the day I finished my first draft of "Shadows of Calassa." It's at 132 pages with 32,804 words total. And I feel great!

Tip for the Day:
Having that feeling of just finished a first draft can be good and often times some writers who are just starting think that the story is told now I can try and focus on something else. Well, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong.

1. Once you've finished a first draft, set it aside for a day or two, most likely a week or so before pulling it out to review it and check for grammar, punctuation, and just tweaking it here and there, but that all comes later.
2. Start another project, even if it's just an essay or blogging. It doesn't matter. The point is to not let those skills atrophy. 
3. Find a critique group of people who get together and write and ask if they're letting members join. This way you can get unbiased feedback from people who may or may not read your genre, but will be helpful in catching the big picture idea and the little details that seem to slip by.
4. Above all else, keep writing.

Pronunciation

Pronunciation is key when one reads your work or you read theirs. Sure, you can always pronounce it your own way, and the author may always pronounce it their way. Which is correct? Both.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because a friend asked me how I pronounce my characters names.

Rhys: I pronounce it REEss
Tamara Lamnar: Tuh-mar-uh Lam-narr
Jori: Jh-OAR-EE
Bylee: BUY-LEE
Mira: MEE-RAH
Rou'tre: ROW-TRuh
Tesqui-Wiit: TES-Kwee-White
Sarline'batra: SAR-LEAN-BAW-TRAW
Oph'la: OH-Fell-Ah
Malton Alhai: MALL-TON ALL-HIGH
Walrot: WALL-ROT
Jeksonn Alhai: JECK-SON ALL-HIGH
Griff Wahl: GRIFF WALL
Tixe: TIE-SHEE
Khariss: K-ARR-iss
Latchton: LATCH-TON
Y'canthra: EE-can-thr-uh
T'ol: Tuh-OLL
Vhoz Lamnar: V-OSH Lam-nawr
Ascon Tirs: ASK-ON Tuhrz
Lexz: LEK-Ss
Y: why
Q: cue
Z'jara: Zshuh-JAR-uh
Riine Valonto: REEn Vuh-LOHN-toe
Av'ryl: Aahv-uh-rILL
Bartok: Barr-TOCK
Ivarrson: EE-vARE-suhn
Qeru: KARE-OO
Cinor: SIN-OAR
A'liin Mobar: Aah-LEEN MOE-barr
Henrik Reapre: HEN-rick RIPE-err

Getting in touch with your characters

I've been hard pressed to describe my characters accurately to my current critique group. So yesterday I decided to take one of my characters and do a short 1st person exploration with them. The result was unexpected. This character is really more hardened and resentful of the events in her world. For her, nothing ever goes right; in other words, it's a dystopia.

Some suggestions for getting in touch with your characters:

• Try writing them in the 1st person or the 3rd person limited. This allows you to connect with your character, giving you insights into the character's mindset. 
• Try writing a character exposition using only that character and no one else. Sometimes, it's what the internal dialogue says that tells all.
• Do a Question and Answer type thing with you character where you ask them a question and in turn allow them to provide the answer. 

The Key to all of this is to let the character speak to you.  Remember, writing is both serious and fun. Don't be so serious about how your character should act. As the 11th Doctor (Matt Smith) says "Never knowingly be serious."

Writing Sci-Fi

It's not as easy as it looks, writers. Few people I come across always or nearly always say that science fiction has no plot or story arch, that it's just about weapons and technology, military vs aliens, spaceships and battles. Well I'm here to tell you and them that this is not the case.

Writing sci-fi has as much work as any other writing genre. Here are some tips below to help you plot it out. Even if you aren't writing sci-fi, this will still help; yes, that includes nonfiction novels too.

• Know you world: You are the author. It's your world and your story. Plot out the history of the world/universe. What nations/empires/republics/colonies are there? Who are the people? What's their history? Detailed outlines (though not too detailed [this leaves some room for creativity]) help you keep the history of your world/universe in check. Not only is this a benefit to you, the author, but it help to ensure that you never (almost never) contradict yourself. Some world building is nice, but don't spend the whole novel on it.
• Plot it out: Plot out the events of your story using what I call the skewed pyramid*. This helps to ensure that you stay on track and don't wander off to explain every little detail about your world/universe. You're not David Weber or John Ringo. If the scene works by adding in some detail of your world, such as an important battle, reference it, don't spell the whole thing out.
• Are weapons and technology necessary?: Of course they're necessary. It hints at the universe/world around your book. If it has contemporary technology, then the reader knows it's set around the current era of humanity. If it has unheard of technology, it's the future.

Character Lists

I think character lists/dramatis personae/cast role call are important for any novelist. Not all books should have one (if any ever do). They should be for the author only. This helps in case you forget a character or their profession.

Example:

Title of Book
   Main Characters:
     Jack Wells, commander, Death Commandos (human male from Rulnudor)*
     Rhys Jones, commander, Liberty Rangers (human male from Libertia)
     Tamara Lamnar, lieutenant, Liberty Rangers (human female from Libertia)
     Jessica Green, lieutenant, Death Commandos (human female from Calassa)
     Jori, lieutenant, Liberty Rangers (human female from Libertia)
     Kyle Daly, reporter, Calassa News Network (human male from Calassa)
     Jon Green, senator (human male from Calassa)
     Prince Khariss, head of Darkstar criminal organization (human male)
   Secondary Characters:
     Juan Lopez; lieutenant, Liberty Rangers (human male)
     Q, lieutenant; Death Commandos (Mar'ahli male)
     Nick Trang; lieutenant, Death Commandos (human male)
     Sarha Poland; captain, Liberty Rangers (human female)
     Tessa; captain, Death Commandos (human female)
     Latchton; assassin (human male)
     Y'Canthra; mechanic (Azhiiry female from Azhiiry)
     T'ol; mechanic (human female from Hydronkker)
     Tixe; general, Rulnudor Special Operations Brigade (human male from Rulnudor)
     Vhoz Lamnar; general, Libertia Special Operations Brigade (human male from Libertia)
     Stone; general, Libertia Special Operations Brigade (human male from Libertia)
* = this may be different if your story is only set on earth, main stream fiction, or doesn't involve other species like dogs, cats at which point the "(human male/female)" becomes irrelevant.

I don't recommend this for all writers though. It mainly works well with Sci-Fi or Fantasy (if you have a lot of characters, mind).

Writing Tip: Keeping Busy

For most beginning writers, the hardest challenge we have to face is making ourselves sit down and write. Life is distracting and we all know it. The trick is to sit at the computer or writing pad and just tell yourself "I'm just gonna write for a few minutes." Then, after you finish writing, hours have passed and you've completed a few scenes in your work in progress.

If not, then try picturing yourself surrounded by your family and friends, each of them telling you that your never going to make it as a writer, to get a real job, and adding all those doubts into your head. Now imagine you have a People Remote. The only button on it is the "mute" function. Simply aim it at each member and "mute" them. Then, put that remote down, and away from them, and keep writing.

The most important thing to remember while your writing is to just let it be junk. This is only a first draft. it doesn't have to be perfect on the first try. Remember back in high school writing essays. It needs to be like that, there needs to be a rough draft, a middle draft (which can take up most of your time) and your end product.

If that doesn't work for you, try plotting out a few scenes. By plotting, I mean an outline of what is to come. If you don't have a specific ending in mind, try outlining the ending. Does your main character win and is happy; win, isn't happy; lose, is happy; lose and isn't happy? Or is it the dreaded ambiguous ending?

Another ting to do is ask your main character(s) what it is he/she/they want. What is it they want most and what are they willing to do to get it? If you have a kid who wants to play the drums in the school band, he can't just do that. There needs to be tension (he gets in, but his parents can't afford to by the practice drums or sticks; the bully breaks the practice drum set or sticks). It needs to be something convincing yet realistic for your character. What obstacles is your character going to overcome? These are the important questions to ask when drafting a novel.

So get off the internet now and get writing!

Novelizations (Tie-In)

I recently was reading a novelization of 1984 film "The Last Starfighter" by Alan Dean Foster. The book contains different scenes from the movie and has a lot of POV switching. It got me wondering, though. Back in the 70's/80's, was omniscient POV a fad? Or was it reserved only for movie Tie-Ins?

Take, for example, ADF's previous two Tie-In works: Star Wars: A New Hope (formerly titled "from the Adventures of Luke Skywalker)(1) and Star Wars: Splinter of the Mind's Eye. Both have Alan's flair of POV shifts.

"One purpose, one thought, one obsession dominated that mind now. It burned in the brain of Darth Vader as he turned down another passageway in the broken fighter. There smoke was beginning to clear, though the sounds of faraway fighting still resounded through the hull. The battle here had ended and moved on.
   Only a robot was left to stir freely in the wake of the Dark Lord's passing. See-Threepio finally stepped clear of the last restraining cable. Somewhere behind him human screams could be heard from where relentless Imperial troops were mopping up the last remnants of a rebel resistance." (2)

"'Do you remember that day back on the station,' Vader mused, with deliberate patience, 'when the late Governor Tarkin and I interviewed you?' He placed a peculiar stress on the word "interviewed."
   Leia had both hands on opposite shoulders and was shivering as if from intense cold.
   'Yes,' Vader observed, perverse amusement in his voice, 'I see that you do. I am truly sorry I have nothing as elaborate to treat you to at this time. However,' he added, swinging his weapon lightly, 'one can do some interesting things with a saber, you know. I'll do my best to show you all of them if you'll cooperate by not passing out.'
   Leia's hands dropped to her sides. The fear did not leave her, but she forced it into the back alleys of her mind by sheer will. Running the few steps to Luke's side, she knelt and groped at his wrist. When she rose, she was holding the lightsaber carefully in one hand."(3)

I'm sure Linda Clare would say both of them need a break in the paragraphs. Not a new Paragraph, but

something like this. Where there is a space between the paragraphs to represent new POV.

Alan Dean Foster is not the only one who does this. In the novelization of "The Empire Strikes Back," writer Donald F. Glut switches POV often enough. The same goes for "Return of the Jedi" by James Kahn. Both use the omniscient POV to further the story without slowing down to continuously break a scene for a new POV.

Fast forward to the other Star Wars tie-ins. Specifically, The Han Solo Adventures written by Brian Daley and The Adventures of Lando Calrissian by L. Neil Smith. The difference is that Daley and Smith reserve them for action scenes, such as space battles or blaster fights.

So for the 70's and 80's omniscient POV was a way to keep it short, let the movie show it. But others, such as the 1991 novelization of the movie "Hook" by Terry Brooks also used the omniscient POV style. Brooks' other works (including the latter "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace" novelization) don't use the omni-POV, head-jumping technique. Brooks used it for "Hook" because he was relating the story to us as he was told it. (4)

In the 1997/98 novelizations of the then popular game "Star Wars: Dark Forces" and its popular sequel "Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight" were novella-ized by William C. Deitz. Deitz, as far as I can tell with his original works, used omniscient POV style writing.

"An officer appeared from behind a console, ran forward as if to intercept him. Kyle fired a carefully aimed shot. He caught little more than a glimpse of Odom's face as he fell, hoped the footage would look believable, and stepped over the half-conscious body.
   Odom watched his friend's boots walk away, wondered if he'd done the right thing, and knew that even though he hadn't fired a shot, his hands were red with blood. Lives had been taken, and lives would had been saved. How would the scales tip? Only time would tell. The thought brought comfort even as the pain from his wounds pulled him into darkness.
   Kyle circled the large U-shaped desk, found the switch where Odom had promised it would be, and flipped it on."(5)

"8t88 dragged his still-unwilling pet into an alcove. A durasteel door slammed down in front of him. Machinery whined as the turbolift carried him upward.
   Surprised by Kyle's move and more than a little intrigued, Yun moved forward. Kyle, who was still on his knees and at a disadvantage, pulled his lightsaber. Energy crackled and the smell of ozone filled the air as the Rebel managed to raise his weapon and block the Jedi's blow."(6)

Yes, Deitz did just do a POV shift in the middle of a paragraph. But that's not the only times Deitz has used it. He used it again in the novelization of "Halo".

The following starts in Master Chief SPARTAN-117's POV:
"The Chief stared for a moment and clenched his jaw. 'Perfectly, sir.'
   'Good. Now one more thing. I'm familiar with your record and I admire it. You are one helluva soldier. That said, you are also a freak, the last remaining subject in a terribly flawed experiment, and one which should never be repeated.'
   McKay watched the Master Chief's face. His hair was worn short, not as short as hers, but short. He had serious eyes, a firm mouth, and a strong jaw. His skin hadn't been exposed tot he sun in a long time and it was white, too white, like something that lived in the deep recesses of a cave. From what she had heard he had been a professional soldier since the age of six, which meant he was an expert at controlling what showed on his face, but she could see the words hit like bullets striking a target. Nothing overt, just a slight narrowing of the eyes, and a tightness around his mouth. She looked at Silva, but if the Major was aware of the changes, he didn't seem to care."(7)

It then goes back into the Master Chief's POV again. Unlike Linda, I don't see this as keeping the camera at a distance. I see it as a cinematic. We start off with the Master Chief, cut to Major Silva when he's talking, then cut to Lieutenant McKay for a bit, then back to the Master Chief.

Now, I know what your thinking. How could a game have a novelization of the game? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of playing the game?

No, it does not. The novelization shows you how to play it one way, and may be considered the official novelization or novellaization of the game(s) by their makers and the company that produces the games. For example, The Gears of Wars book series, the Halo novel series, Doctor Who/Torchwood novels, Star Wars Expanded Universe novels are not omniscient in any way.

So when in doubt about a particular passage being written in your book, and you have no idea which character sounds best, or its a rough outline/rough draft, don't write omniscient unless you can pull it off in a way that most people won't complain, just try and write the scene from all the characters being used in it, not characters that are just mentioned.

(1) published with George Lucas's name on the cover, but ghost written by Alan Dean Foster
(2) "Star Wars: A New Hope" page 8, paperback edition
(3) "Star Wars: Splinter of the Mind's Eye" page 278, paperback edition
(4) Terry Brooks mentioned it in the Hardcover edition of the novelization
(5) "Star Wars: Dark Forces: Soldier for the Empire" page 125, hardcover novella
(6) "Star Wars: Dark Forces: Rebel Agent" page 108, hardcover novella
(7) "Halo: The Flood" page 91, mass market paperback edition

Writing Tip for the Day: Characters

Many novels I read in Science Fiction/Fantasy have weak willed women characters.  There are a few by such authors as David Weber, Eric Nylund, Timothy Zahn, and Michael A. Stackpole who have amazingly strong female characters, even if they are not the main character. The current Star Wars novel series Fate of the Jedi have weak willed women characters. These are not female characters who are just made up for the role in the series or book. No. These are characters like Leia Solo and her daughter Jaina, just to name them. Troy Denning, the current headwriter for the series since 2006 has been performing character assassination. It just raises the question: hoe does one avoid weak-willed female (and male) characters?

• Write them as having heroic traits. Not every time does a woman need to be saved by the handsome man. Nor do they need to be angsty and need support from characters who reads flat. Make the female strong and independent to a point. She does not always need to win, but she should have courage and a strong backbone. For male characters, DO NOT always have them angsting or always there to save the day. Try having them as heroic, but not always winning.
• Character Assassination. If you write a character long enough in a novel or short story or novella, and have some one test read it, and they question certain actions about said character, chances are, you've assassinated the feel the character gave the reader when they got to know him. I find it easy to create 3D characters using the following format: Name______, Age_____, Occupation_______, Positive Traits_______, Negative Traits_______. It works for me and I never give the impression that I've assassinated any character of mine.

Remember, drama and angst may be loved by certain people, but most readers will not stand for it. Most readers love well rounded characters, and respect the author for having them too.

Working Titles

When I begin to approach writing a novel, I will come up with a working title--a title that is a place holder for later. The current working title I have on my second book is "The Human Trap." I don't know if it's been used before, but it's a working title.

I find that a working title does wonders for the book. For you, the writer, it establishes a theme that's supposed to be brought forward by the elements of the book. Here are a few tips on how to pick a working title:

1. Remember the genre you're in. If it's romance, pick something that is romantically corny. If sci-fi/fantasy, pick something sci-fi/fantasy and make it corny. (i.e. Lover's Spring, The World's War to give an idea)
2. Make it short and easy to remember. This way, when you save your work in progress, it will be easier to find rather than MyBook1,000,000 or version10.14.
3. It can rhyme. Try rhyming two words that sum up your book, a la Dr. Seuss style.

Remember, these are for your eyes only. No one else (except your critique group if you have one) is to know. The working title is for you, as a reminder to pick a title after the book is finished.

New Characters for a new story

Since I took a break from SOC, I started working on its followup story. Mostly for myself and cause I just had to get the ideas down somewhere as a "just in case".

Returning Characters:
Jack Wells; prisoner (male human from the territory Rulnudor) {Arrested for killing the Emperor}
Rhys Jones; fugitive (male human from the territory Libertia) {WANTED for suspected brainwashing}
Jessica Green; fugitive (female human from the destroyed city Calassa, now from Rulnudor) {WANTED for suspected brainwashing and assassinating the Emperor}
Tamara Lamnar; prisoner (female human from Libertia) {Arrested for being brainwashed and spreading Rulnudor propaganda}
Jori; fugitive (female human, origins are unknown) {WANTED for suspected brainwashing}
Kyle Daly; prisoner (male human from the destroyed city Calassa) {Arrested pending investigation of unknown circumstances}
General Tixe; general of the Rulnudor Special Operations Brigade (male human from Rulnudor)
Griff Wahl; prisoner (male human from the territory of Libertia) [moved from the original prologue and epilogue of SOC to here. His events have been erased] {Arrested for bribery}

New Characters:
Y; prisoner (female Mar'ahli) {Arrested for old prejudices}
Master Tesqui-Wiit; Ji-Jorhan martial arts instructor (male Ji-Jorhan from the territory Raji-Jorha)
Rou'tre; mechanic (female human from the territory Hydronkkers)
Sarline'batra; prisoner (male Azzaery) {Arrested for political reasons}
Oph'la; prisoner (female human/Hydronkker) {Arrested for sabotaging Rulnudor and Libertia vehicle compounds}
Bylee; prisoner (female Ji-Jorhan) {arrested for "threatening" an emissary}
Mira; Ji-Jorhan student (female Ji-Jorhan from Raji-Jorha)
Emperor Malton Alhai; ruler of Rulnudor (male human from the territory of Rulnudor)
Chief Walrot; ruler of Libertia (male human from Libertia)
Jeksonn Alhai; son of the Emperor (male human from Rulnudor)

Today's blog update is going to be nothing more than a rambling from me. I have found myself in a corner, working on a lot of additions to and modifications of my novel. I have seemingl gotten bored with the book and have so put it to the side for now. I have started working on another project I put into the drawer for some time. It is a follow up to SoC, and details the events of the survivors and the basic outline for the next story.

In it, I have old characters, some new, and some who we've heard from/of, but never seen. For instance, in SoC, we get epigraphs from Kyle Daly, but in the second story, I give him scenes and a life. The other is the Emperor. All I have on him is he's a friend of Jack Wells, and wants peace. I haven't decided upon a  name yet; I'm still considering what name would be appropriate for him.

New characters introduced are a broken Mar'ahli, two female prisoners who have a love for weapons, the Emperor's son, an exiled Hydronkker, and a lithe Azzaery assassin. I don't have names yet, but I am having fun writing their descriptions and stats down. Hopefully, I should break out of this spell and get back on that book.

SOC lingo

Words/phrases you will find in the novel, as well as what they stand for.


HUD--Heads Up Display
Lt, Loot, Lieut--Lieutenant
Rash’lavikh (RAHsh-lawVICK)--Mar'ahli derogatory term for drones (both living and mechanical)
Plasmacid blomb--a plasma and acid bomb
LRC--Libertia Rangers Command
LMI--Libertia Military Intelligence
RMI--Rulnudor Military Intelligence
SOB--Special Operations Brigade (used for both Rulnudor and Libertia commandos)
VIP--Very Important Person
LRaD--Libertia Research and Development
RRaD--Rulnudor Research and Development
Magtrain--magnetic train
CDF--Calassa Defense Force


[will update as I write more and find more in the book]

An update on the book

I'm nine-and-a-half chapters in, over a hundred pages, and still going strong. I have five-and-a-half chapters left to go before I'm done. Then I will put it aside, and start something new. I don't know what, yet, but I hope it will occupy my time so I unwind and disconnect from the novel. Then, I will go back and edit the hell out of it.

This first draft stage is the (as a writer friend of mine says) "Junk It Through" stage. It's just supposed to be crap, and written as crap. None of the words are supposed to stay, scenes can be rewritten and reordered. As with any draft though, I have to RUE (Resist the Urge to Explain) every little detail about the world. Thankfully, I can do that with my blog ;-)

Blogging about the backstories and histories and cultures helps me to categorize them and acts (for me) as a fact-checker. This way, I can't contradict myself, and am able to keep things consistent. That's another thing I see in some novels. Some writers don't keep consistency within their own work. This speaks as unprofessional and turns the reader off. Not editing a book/novel also does the same.

I write to show people the worlds I create. If I wanted to tell you about them, it would be like a history book; flat and boring and stale. Granted, some people love history. Good for them. I don't and probably never will enjoy history.

The Races of Crandox

No, this is not about sports racing. It is about the races that make up the population of Crandox (CRAHN-dosh). There are five races, and only three of those are prominent--meaning they are the most seen.

The first are, of course, the humans. Native to the Northern hemisphere of Crandox, they used up most of the resources available to them. Infighting and thousands of wars have forced them to split into the Northern and Southern hemispheres. The two major countries/territories are Rulnudor (ROOL-new-DOOR) and Libertia (LIE-ber-SCHA). Libertia is in the North and Rulnudor is in the South.

The second are/were the Mar'ahli (Mahr-AHlee). Humanoids with chitinous skin, they are warriors as well as builders, artists, farmers. They have one leader and rarely an historian. They used to belong in the Southern hemispheres, but the humans drove them out, butchering their peoples. They drove the warriors into extinction, killed their leader and historian, and left the race in ruin. They disappeared overnight, but make no mistake. They are still out there, waiting for the next leader to return to them.

The third are the Ji-Jorhans (Szchee-Szchor-hahnz). The Ji-Jorhans have lived their lives in peace. They have martial experience in defense. They never attack their "opponents" unless there is no other option available to them (for example, the Ji-Jorhans would rather disarm an opponent, sometimes this means breaking an arm or knocking a weapon away). They are pacifists and are skilled in diplomacy. They are often used to negotiate between people, organizations, territories. They live on the equator, in between Libertia (LIB-uhr-schia) and Rulnudor (RULE-new-dohr) Territories

The fourth are the Azhiiry (Ash-IRE-ee). They are water-based sentients who live entirely under water. They have bases all over the bodily waters of Crandox. Their height ranges from five feet to five inches. If you can picture them like this: teeth of a shark or piranha, human-like exoskeleton, fins on the back of their arms and legs for propulsion.

The fifth are the Hydronkkers (HIGHdrunkKERS). The Hydronkkers are disowned beings from all the races. They take new age technology of Crandox and run it off ancient hydro machines. This powers their ships and machines (and the machines are said to be far better than the human technology). If you want a comparison to real day life, they would most likely be Steam Punk. They live in the South-Eastern hemisphere.

Of those five, only the Mar'ahli and Ji-Jorhans are in the minority. Two thousand years before the humans wiped the Mar'ahli warriors, it used to be the Ji-Jorhans and Hydronkkers in the minority.

Today, humans, Azhiiry, and Ji-Jorhans are the majority forces on the planet. If by some miracle any one of those groups falters, either the Mar'ahli or the Hydronkkers could take their place.

Mar'ahli history and culture

The Mar'ahli warriors have been in existence on Crandox (CRANdosh) since its beginning in the dark ages (before civilization). They waged war on numerous being and settlers seeking to take their land away. For 5,000,000,000 years, the Mar'ahli race fought for their ideals and principles.

Origninally, the chitinous warriors and peoples were farmers and ruled under a caste system. The caste system had one leader. The leader would only have one designation (i.e. 1, 2, A, B). Successors were named a thousand years in advance. Sex does not figure into the cast system. One can be male, female, of even hermaphroditic. The first Mar'ahli leader was hermaphroditic; the leader was called "O" and was the first to lead them into a fight to protect the Mar'ahli grounds. The names for the leaders are chosen at random, some from a favorite drawing (for O, it was a circle that inspired its leadership), favorite number, even how many offspring they have. Mar'ahli can have up to nine offspring.

If the offspring do not wish to become warriors, they are not scorned or disavowed from the families, like other races on Crandox do. Instead, the Mar'ahli encourage their offspring to take up any field they are drawn to. Most offspring take up the Warrior way, but some have taken up paths of Artists, Farmers, Hunters, Builders. Only ten have taken up the title of Historian. Oral traditions are a way of preserving their history. They do not forbid writing them down. When a Historian is about to die and there is no successor at the present time, the histories of battles, way of life, code are written down for the next Historian and are preserved, even if it takes millennia for a new Historian to take the mantle.

The lifespan of a typical Mar'ahli is 5,000 years. They are bipedal, 8 feet in height, bulky chitinous skin, two arm, two legs that bend backwards and forwards, as well as side-to-side, allowing them to be extremely flexible during combative engagements.

Mar'ahli make bonds over time. If a friend is killed during their presence, the Mar'ahli is held responsible unless they have tried everything to save them. It is rare that a Mar'ahli looses their control and lash out. Be warned, though, that it can happen under the most extenuating circumstances.

Caste System is as follows:
Leader--there is only one leader. The Leader is responsible for the Mar'ahli race as a whole.
Historian--rare. Teaches the oral traditions of the past and may preach wisdom to the Leader if the Leader is believed to be acting against the Mar'ahli way.
Builders--they build buildings, weapons, farming tools, armor, equipment. You name it, they build it.
Warriors--they are the protectors of the race. They are under the direct control of the Leader and respond only to him, unless his/her/its actions are deemed unacceptable by the race as a whole.
Farmers--are responsible for the food, harvest, livestock.
Hunters--they hunt for meat. Can be used as scouts and bounty hunters.
Civilians--the civilization of the Mar'ahli
Artists--painters, art, dances, culture are their way.

The Mar'ahli Code of Honor is as follows:
1) If an enemy is too close to death, or if a comrade is too close to death, finish him quickly, saying "I'm sorry for your loss."
2) Unless you are provoked, do not become confrontative
3) Children are not to be harmed. Unless the child is the one wielding a weapon, do not take action
4) If you stumble across an orphan from an enemy, and their are no survivors, you must take them and raise them as your own.
5) Slavery is inexcusible. If you have a slave, you will be executed
6) Your comrades are your responsibility. Treat them well.
7) Do not take offense at any profession your offspring or an enemies offspring choose.
8) Fighting is not always the answer. If there is a peaceful way to achieve victory, it must be tried before war can begin.
9) [For Leaders only] Always name a successor. You never know when you might be the last warrior/leader.

The Last Great Battle

1,100 years before the war between Rulnudor and Libertia (LIEbertSCHA) began, the Mar'ahli were fighting the human population of Crandox over survival. The humans, xenophobic of the Mar'ahli and believing them to be nothing but insects and butchers, decided to exterminate them. The humans launched an all out provoking strike at the heart of the Mar'ahli race, their Historian.

The Historian was writing down all her knowledge at the time. Before she completed her task, humans barged in and shot her to death multiple times, reducing her to a pile of ash. They set fire to her home, destroying all she had written. Little did the humans know that the Historian made an oral recording of the history and teachings of the Mar'ahli race.

The Leader and a select few who traveled with him discovered her remains. Angered at the death of his beloved, the Leader declared war on the humans. Breaking the Code of Honor, the Leader led the Warriors into battle. They met the humans on the plains of what is now Calassa and exterminated the settlement there. The humans launched a campaign against the Warriors, meeting them on the field and fought.

100 years of war raged as the Mar'ahli beat back the humans again, time after time. Only twelve times did the human race win. During one of the engagements, the Leader struck down an unarmed group of children. He was alone. Faced with the possibility of someone finding out about his actions, and overcome with grief at his desecration of the Code of Honor, the Leader chose a young warrior and named him his successor. During a ritual, the Leader declared to his Warriors that the young warrior was his chosen successor. Mesmerized by a human character, the young warrior was about to take his name when the humans launched a surprise attack.

The fighting raged for hours, during which the Leader was injured. Overwhelming the Mar'ahli, the humans backed them into The Valley of Peace and bombarded them to death. With the Leader dead, the young successor tried to rally the Warriors to safety, but they were all massacred. Fires raged for months as the once luscious valley was turned into the most unlivable desert in the South-Western region of Crandox.

During the fire, a backlash occured killing most of the human warriors, injuring others. Overnight, the Mar'ahli race disappeared from the face of Crandox. For the next thousand years, the Mar'ahli race traveled in secret to the Valley of Peace, looked upon the ashes of their protectors and the Leader and began to rebuild in secret. In the center of their new town, was a pillar of rock bearing the human letter "Q". The Builders used advanced technology to block the buildings and beings from being scanned by the human satellites. For the next thousand years, they rebuilt their lost civilization.

Little did anyone realize, that days before the arrival of the Mar'ahli race, the young successor survived and carved his name into a pillar of rock. Naming and declaring himself the new Leader. Despite all evidence, all persistence by the Hunters, there was no trace to be found of the young Leader now called Q. The Mar'ahli believe that Q is still out there, waiting, biding his time before his return. Few Mar'ahli believe that he perished with the Warriors, and that they are without both a Historian and a Leader for the first time in history. Only three injured Warriors who did not partake in the final battle believe he has joined with the humans as a slave. Little do they realize how close they are to the truth about Q. No one, though, would find out about Q for the next 1000 years.

New Prologue

I have written a new Prologue. It is a total of four pages (well, three and a quarter, but who's counting) and features Lieutenant Q in a training exercise with his fellow commandos from Rulnudor (Rool-NEW-door).

I've created a couple of new weapons for the book. One is a Torkil (TOR-kill) Manufactured repeater. The Torkil developed when I was vacuuming (that word never looks like it's spelled right) my stairs and took out the top hose in the accordion stretch tube. It was shaped as below:
___________===== (scope/energy holder)
|       _________=============== (barrel)
|___// (energy housing/grenade housing*/hand grip/trigger)

It looks like this:

Or something like that. I will try an post a picture up by tomorrow soonest. If you flip it upside down (the Torkil, I mean), then it becomes a grenade launcher. The energy power runs from the bottom into the "scope".

*Note: You must empty all grenades before you can have the Torkil resume itself as a laser rifle.

The other weapon created is a ca'barde (Kah-bAIR-D). It is a sword made of bone and metal. It is a weapon of the ancient warrior race, the Mar'ahli (Mar-AHWlee). It is honed to a fine edge and can cut through metal and flesh and circuitry like...well, butter.

excerpt one

Libertia, Special Operations Brigade HQ, Liberty Commando briefing room, 0630 hrs

Tamara Lamnar had a strong dislike for her father. He was rash and very opinionated and stubborn. He always refused to hear another’s opinion, especially if it ran counter to his.

      Tamara felt the stare of her father’s gaze, and returned her focus to the front of the briefing room. Sparse and empty, it had, in its glory days, reliable technology that worked at maximum efficiency and gave the feeling of having been lived in. Now, it felt barren, as if the room itself were at the end of its life.

      The unit had been in this room for an hour, but it felt like eternity to her. She wanted to get out and roam around, feel the use of her legs and muscles as they went through practiced routines. She wanted to feel the butt of her automated laser rifle, taking aim at a distant target, feel the slight kickback as she fired off a few shots. Cursing herself for not paying attention, she honed in on her father’s hard droning voice.

      “—cannons will have to be taken by force, if you know what I mean, Commander,” her father said, his steely gray eyes focused on Rhys. General Vohz Lamnar was at the height of his military career in the Republic Militia. A man of fifty-six, he was barrel-chested, black hair tinged gray, steel gray eyes, and a “carved of stone” face. His military career had started in the early days of the “Control War”, or as it was referred to the officers in the mess hall, the Libertia/Rulnudor split.

      Rhys still had that stoic expression, as if he hadn’t been paying attention either, but she knew differently; he was always paying attention. Jones’ family had been in the military since the foundation of the Libertia on Crandox. His family was more militarized than her own. His black armor gleamed, drawing attention away from the scar on the left side of his face. Well-toned muscles displayed his masculine physique, even when he tried to hide it.

      “Yes, sir,” Jones said. His light blue eyes focused on the tactical data on the wall behind Tamara’s father. She knew he was studying every aspect of the terrain to measure supplies, travel time, and ammunition.

      A holomap of Crandox floated in the air, a pulsing red dot drew attention to the edge of the Libertia Territories. Lamnar tapped a button, and the world faded, replaced by a cubed city.

      “Calassa,” he said, striding toward the bank of consoles behind them.

      Data scrolled on their infopads, transmitted by the consoles at the back.

      “Our agents in the field have some disturbing news about the Vice Cube,” her father continued.

      “What about, sir?” Rhys leaned forward. The cubed city faded away, replaced by a store room with walls of containers and lockers. The image moved forward. Intel sure loves to play with their new toys. Tamara resisted the urge to snort.

      “Intelligence has some evidence uncovering a warehouse filled with weapons. Not those with the emblem of Darkstar, but weapons that have been outlawed for decades.”

      One of the containers was open, DAR-2000s—sniper weapons outlawed because of their habit of disrupting energy at the molecular level, disintegrating flesh and bone in a matter of seconds—were laid neatly along with a few ammo packs and scopes. Another held plasmacid bombs.

      Tamara cocked an eyebrow. “Sir, who made these and why have they not been tagged by the LRC?”

      Her father frowned in her direction. “Darkstar is manufacturing them, selling to both sides on the weapons market out on the front.”

      Tamara was about to ask more when a calming weight settled on her shoulders. The warm feeling relaxed her mind and—

      She snarled. Rhys was using his pheromone implants to calm her down. She hated when he did that. Yet, it felt good to know that her commander was looking out for her. I really hate those pheromones.

      “Sir, is Darkstar our target?” Rhys asked.

      “Yes, Commander,” Lamnar responded. “Your job is to infiltrate Darkstar, copy and wipe their data on the weapons, and take out their leader.”

      “Who is the leader of Darkstar?” Sarha asked. The team medic of the unit, Lieutenant Sarha Poland, had a mean streak about her that only seemed to come about in a crisis and extraction from a hostile environment. Otherwise, Sarha was calm, at peace, using her enthusiasm and loving energy to bring out the best in the unit.

      An image of a man swathed in a white tunic with beige trousers and shin-high boots replaced the warehouse. The man’s features were handsome, his black hair pulled into a knot. Long tinted nails made his fingers appear longer than Tamara assumed them to be.

      “Prince Khariss, leader of Darkstar for the last decade and a half.” Lamnar walked to the edge of the hologram. He placed a boot on the circular pad and smiled. “He is wanted by every head of Crandox and then some.”

      The data flickered on the wall, and then collapsed in darkness, taking all light from the surrounding area with it.

      Jori sighed. “Great. Stuck in a room with five people on a high fiber diet. Makes the day so special.”

      Tamara kept her face neutral, but inside, she was laughing.

      Her father was not amused. “Lieutenant Jori—”

      “It’s a dream come true.”

      “—you realize you’re up for a promotion—”

      “Thank you, sir,” she said. Tamara imagined her looking up at the ceiling, counting the slight shimmers of light gray on the dark ceiling. “You look lovely today. It’s the dark gray. Brings out the seriousness in your eyes.”

      General Lamnar sighed. “Does she ever keep quiet, Commander Jones?”

      “Not while her mind’s occupied, sir,” Rhys strained not to laugh.

      Lamnar sighed. “Captain Lopez, can you see what’s taking the power so long?” His gaze shifted to Jori. “And take the mouthy commando with you, please.”