Retro Book Review: Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace SPOILERS!

Sometime in 1999, the mass execution of the Star Wars Expanded Universe began in one movie by George Lucas. It's novelization was penned by Terry Brooks. Now, it's been a few years since I read it, but I now have my hands on a copy that recently came out. It just has an updated cover for the 3D rerelease of the film that gave kids and parents nightmares. Yes, it's that film that brought you the evil Jar Jar Binks, who, so far, has only been used in The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and a couple of Clone Wars episodes. Yeah, he's not a much loved character and neither are the Gungans.  

Synopsis: A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, an evil legacy long believed dead is stirring. Now the dark side of the Force threatens to overwhelm the light, and only an ancient Jedi Prophecy stands between hope and doom for the entire galaxy. On the green, unspoiled world of Naboo, Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, arrive to protect the realm's young queen as she seeks a diplomatic solution to end the siege of her planet by Trade Federation warships. At the same time, on desert-swept Tatooine, a slave boy named Anakin Skywalker, who possesses a strange ability for understanding the "rightness" of things, toils by day and dreams by night--of becoming a Jedi Knight and finding a way to win freedom for himself and his beloved mother. It will be the unexpected meeting of Jedi, Queen, and a gifted boy that will mark the start of a drama that will become legend.

And that synopsis, on the back of the novel, has me laughing out loud. Especially the part about this being a legend. Give me a break. Most Star Wars fans hate this movie and wish it never happened. Why, you ask? Because of Jar Jar Binks, a horrible child Anakin, and the cheesiness of the film's plot. It was so godawful that I'm still amazed it exists. But enough about that. Onto the novel's review where I'll let you in on some retcons we--meaning the EU fans--came up with after this novel and book were published.

The novel opens with a podrace during which Anakin crashes Watto's beloved podracer. Anakin is no longer allowed to race. He skips off work with Kitster and Wald and talk to an old spacer drinking ruby bliels (which is alcohol). Yeah, smart idea there, give the kids alcohol. It then switches to what we all know, the opening of the movie, with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan boarding the Trade Federation ship to discuss the blockade of Naboo (the events of which are detailed in the computer game Star Wars: Galactic Battlefields; just click on Boss Rugor Nass' face to start the campaign) with Nute Gunray and Rune Haako. Naturally, things take a turn for the worse and both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan end up on Naboo with that despicable character, Jar Jar Binks. The novel and Brooks write out the  Gungan language, which is horribly racist against Jamaicans. They leave Naboo with Queen Padme Amidala and her retinue of handmaidens and a couple of security types. They're stranded on Tatooine where they meet Anakin. Qui-Gon arranges to have Anakin free, but Watto refuses.

On Coruscant, Darths Sidious and Maul talk about the revenge of the Sith. A good portion of the scene in the novel details the origins of the Sith, and how wrong it is. According to Brooks and Lucas, the Sith came into existence only 2,000 years ago and waged war on the Jedi. First off, the EU set the Sith's origins back around 25,000 years ago, near the start of the Jed'aii origins. Secondly, the 2,000 years mentioned was retconned into the start of the New Sith Wars led by former Jedi Master Phanius, now called Darth Ruin. He led the war that decimated the galaxy, leaving the Republic, Mandalorians, and citizens on the brink of collapse. Into this came the Brotherhood of Darkness led by Kaan. Kaan's rival, Darth Bane--infamous creator of the Sith Rule of Two--finished off the Brotherhood via the war with the Jedi Army of Light led by Hoth on the planet Ruusan, where Kaan's thought bomb trapped hundred of Sith and Jedi spirits into it; it is now known as the Valley of the Jedi and starred in the graphic novel Star Wars: Jedi vs Sith by Darko Macan and the popular computer game Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and William C. Deitz novellas: Soldier for the Empire, Rebel Agent, and Jedi Knight, starring beloved Star Wars character Kyle Katarn.

Anyway, now back to the novel. On Tatooine, Anakin wins a podrace, and is set free. Qui-Gon briefly duels Darth Maul before fleeing in abject terror at a character that doesn't talk.They arrive on Coruscant (first created by Timothy Zahn in Star Wars: The Thrawn Trilogy I: Heir to the Empire as the capital of the former Galactic Empire and Old Republic) where Anakin is denied training from the Jedi Council and the Galactic Senate refuses to take action over the Trade Federation's blockade of Naboo. Instead, they depose Chancellor Finis Valorum and elect Palpatine as Chancellor--something that Darth Plagueis and Sidious (Palpatine) orchestrated; Sidious then kills Plagueis in his sleep (as detailed in Star Wars: Darth Plagueis by James Luceno). Meanwhile, the main cast has returned to Naboo to ask the false-Jamaicans to bring their army to free Naboo and Gungan alike. Anakin knocks out the Droid Control Ship during the space battle, the Gungans knock the droids over and win, Padme and company seize Nute Gunray and Rune Haako. Maul kills Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan slices Maul in half. Qui-Gon, dying, has Obi-Wan promise to train Anakin, which Yoda reluctantly agrees to. Plus, there's that line about "Which was destroyed? The Master or the Apprentice?" Now that Darth Palgueis is out, the truth is revealed that both were destroyed.

Now, while both are hated, they do bring some good things and bad things to the universe. A couple of good things is how the Old Republic ran its bureaucracy, podracing, and images of Coruscant. Bad things: Jedi not allowed to marry, ever. Yeah, this was retconned by Lucas after Bantam-era novels had Luke Skywalker marry Mara Jade, as well as Luke's Jedi Order having characters marry. Oh, and Tales of the Jedi Jedi-characters marry. But the fans retconned these married Jedi back in by saying they were a part of Jedi Master Djinn Altis' sect of Jedi that allowed Jedi to marry, therefore allowing Luke to have knowledge of these two sects and combine the best aspects from both. Not a bad story (still better than Twilight saga or Napoleon Dynamite, but then, everything is), but still lacking the full experience that the Original Trilogy gave us.

Book Review: Honor Harrington: Ashes of Victory SPOILERS!

In March 2000, David Weber penned another Honor Harrington novel, this time putting Honor to the side to focus on the war and a coup that will have repercussions of the entire war. Synopsis: REPORTS OF MY DEATH HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED . . . The People's Republic of Haven made a tiny mistake when it announced the execution of Honor Harrington. It seemed safe enough. After all, they knew she was already dead. Unfortunately, they were wrong. Now Honor has escaped from the prison planet called Hell and returned to the Manticoran Alliance with a few friends. Almost half a million of them, to be precise . . . including some who know what really happened when the Committee of Public Safety seized power in the PRH. Honor's return from the dead comes at a critical time, providing a huge, much-needed lift for the Allies' morale, for the war is rapidly entering a decisive phase. Both sides believe that victory lie within their grasp at last, but dangers no one could foresee await them both. New weapons, new strategies, new tactics, spies, diplomacy, and assassination . . . All are coming into deadly focus, and Honor Harrington, the woman the newsies call "the Salamander," once more finds herself at the heart of them all. But this time, the furnace may be too furious for even a salamander to survive.

The novel opens with Honor Harrington in the galley of ENS Farnese's boat bay, musing on the escape from Hell. Hamis Alexander, on GNS Benjamin the Great's pinnace, boards Farnese and welcomes Honor home. He updates her on the situation in the Star Empire while taking her back to Grayson via Manticore in the GSN Honor Harrington. On Grayson, High Admrial Wesley Matthews and Protector Benjamin Mayhew IX greet Honor and Nimitz. Her father, mother and Samantha are there and Honor and Nimitz realize that his "transmitter" isn't working properly thanks to the State Security goons who clubbed him back on Enki (Honor Harrington: In Enemy Hands). On Haven, in the capital city Noveaux Paris, Secretary of War Ester McQueen, Chairman Robert S. Pierre, and Oscar Sanit-Just learn about Honor's survival from Hell and the war effort. Captain Michelle "Mike" Henke escorts Honor to Queen Elizabeth III. The Queen foists the title of duchess on Honor and a duchy in the Westmount Crown Reserve on Gryphon because she refused to take the Parliamentary Medal of Valor. The PMV is instead given to Horace Harkness.

Admiral Thomas Caparelli tells Honor that she'll be the commandant of Saganami and head the Advanced Tactical Course as well as help the new income of Grayson students mold with the Manticoran students; she's also been promoted to the full rank of Admiral. Saint-Just voices his concern about McQueen to Pierre. Honor asks disgraced Commander Andrea Jaruwalski to help her make changes to the outdated bits of Tactical Training just to poke Santino in the eye even though he's died because of his incompetence. Queen Elizabeth III learns that the Republic of San Martin of Trevor's Star want annexation with the Star Empire of Manticore because their Senate voted and approved it in a closed session in less than two weeks after Jesus Ramirez let slip a casual remark that he agreed with it. Allison Harrington tells Honor that she may have come up with a way for Nimitz to communicate with treecats again: sign language. It'll give them a way to talk with each other and with humans. Honor convinces Dr. Adelina Arif to help her, especially after Nimitz demonstrates that he does understand what Honor's saying by nodding his head. Honor hosts a diner with Rear Admiral of the Red Jackson Kriangsak, Andrea, Mike, and six other officers and nineteen midshipmen, including Abigail Hearns from Grayson, to help the midshipmen further learn more about tactics. The war goes on.

Saint-Just reminds Pierre that McQueen can't be trusted. McQueen, meanwhile, makes preparations to launch Operation Bagration. Saint-Just has Thomas Theisman recalled from the front to lead the Havenite home fleet. At a party, Honor and Nimitz and Samantha (but mostly the treecats) sign to Elizabeth and her treecat Ariel, wanting to teach them to communicate. Arriving at Haven, Theisman and Denis LePic learn that Pierre is dead and McQueen's coup failed; Saint-Just is now the chairman and lets Theisman have control of the home fleet with LePic remaining his commissioner. Theisman informs Saint-Just that it would be unwise to execute Lester Tourville and Javier Giscard now as he's rebuilding the navy's trust in the chairman. Benjamin Mayhew invites Elizabeth to a formal head-of-state meeting on Grayson. During that, the Havenites attack and kill Allen Sumervale, Duke of Cromarty, and his people because Honor can only stop one missile and saved Elizabeth and Benjamin. Baron High Ridge and the senior leaders of the Opposition Party refuse to back Elizabeth because they finally see a way to undermine her authority and government and wrest power away from the Crown and Loyalists. Saint-Just moves to have Tourville and Giscard executed while faking to want peace with the Star Empire of Manticore. Theisman launches his coup and kills Saint-Just.

All in all, a great novel that details heroes on both sides of the war and adds much needed depth into the political parties and structures of the Star Empire of Manticore. This is also the first time that Nimitz and Samantha communicate to the main cast (on the Manticoran/Grayson side, anyway). This book is the last appearance of Oscar Saint-Just, Rob Pierre, Ester McQueen and the Cromarty government, State Security, and the Committee of Public Safety. Great characterization, fantastic descriptions and details. This is a book that's hard to put down.